The Kissell Gamily: Challenges that Led to the Discovery of the Divine Mercy

The Kissell family, from the USA (Ohio), has been profoundly shaped by the experience of raising their son Carson and Kolbe with epidermolysis bullosa (EB). It is a rare health condition in which even a slight friction on the skin can cause peeling and blistering anywhere on the body. The challenges of living with this rare and painful illness have deeply affected the family’s daily life, but also have led them into a deeper experience of faith. Over the years, prayer, the sacraments, and especially devotion to the Divine Mercy have become their central sources of strength. Today, they continue to live with the realities of their two boys’ condition, trusting in God and guided, by the conviction that suffering is never meaningless. What inspires them now is the grace of God, who even in their weakness gives them the hope that their testimony may encourage others.

In today’s world we talk a lot about well-being. It sometimes even becomes a key factor in making our decisions, planning, and envisioning our future. Therefore, I’m very interested how the hardships, challenges, and pain you went through have helped you to grow in your faith personally and as a family? 

David: Carson is going to turn nineteen in a month, so it’s been a long journey in caring for them. And I think for Kristy and I – early on when Carson was little – we needed just to recognize that we’re not going to get through this on our own and that there is nothing humanly we could do. At that time, it was the advice of a priest, who we know as a great friend, that really helped us. His name is Father Don. He was the pastor of our parish and, talking to Kristy, he just said that you have to give EB to the Lord, you have to trust Him in this, and the other way you’re going to get through this is through prayer and the sacraments. Kristy and I took that to heart. And really in those early years with Carson, we just began to make prayer a priority for us – knowing that it was a daily trust and daily surrender because the challenges are never ending with these conditions. Kristy’s the one who cares for them primarily and does all their dressing changes, and every day it takes up to several hours. Thus, it is a constant surrender to the Lord to just trust that Ke’s carrying us through this. But we lean back on Father Don’s advice that you have to center things in prayer, and you have to make the sacraments a priority. So it is definitely Sunday Mass, but as much as we can, daily Mass, family rosaries and a Mercy chaplet. All of those opportunities are very important for us to strengthen us in this journey.

Kristy: I think, when Carson was born, we felt that we were at a crossroads. It definitely changed our lives and how we are going to live the rest of our days here on earth. Are we going to live it with the Lord or are we going to choose to not be with Him? We were rooted Catholics – both of us were born Catholic and practicing. And I don’t think it really took its foundation until our oldest was born with the condition that was so challenging. Then it was like we had to make our faith a priority, and we really had to make a choice. And I do believe that God was inviting us to this. I saw a bulletin with a mother’s meeting, and I just said, I feel the urge to go to this. I feel like God is calling me to seek community and friendship with other mothers. It definitely fed our family – the goodness and the riches that it needed to move forward in our faith. So that was really helpful, too.

How did you discover the spirituality and devotion to the Divine Mercy, what was your first encounter with it?

Kristy: It was more than 10 years ago. Our parish introduced the Divine Mercy Sunday, and I attended it. I went to confession and just learned more about it. I learned more about that Chaplet, and I felt like that was something I wanted to instill in our family. I introduced it to Dave and said, “We could pray this.” I introduced it mainly to Carson as I was bathing him when we were having hard times, then we would say, “For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us.”

David: I think it’s something that is fairly well known in the Catholic community across the United States. For those that really are seeking and wanting to grow in their faith, the Divine Mercy chaplet is a prayer that people pray in many of our parishes around here. 

I am also curious what mercy personally means for you? We talk a lot in the Church about mercy and being merciful and sometimes I feel like I don’t understand it anymore, because of hearing it a lot. How do you define mercy for yourself? 

Carson: I just always understood that God forgives us for our sins. That is as far as I ever took it. I think mercy can mean something different for everybody. We all can interpret it differently. But my understanding was that He is so loving and open to taking us back after we fall time and time again. I think that was the main message for me when it came to mercy.

David: I think it’s that God constantly has open arms for us. And that perfection is humanly not possible. And that’s not the goal. The goal is to be in communion with God, to be one with Him always, and to know that He is always there no matter what. And He desires for us, in love, that we would always turn back to Him. We are not going to fall short. And we humanly can’t do it on our own. We need His grace. And just out of gratitude for that grace that Christ provides for us and His suffering death on the cross, Mercy is extended to us at all moments of life. And no matter what the situation may be. And just as God extends that Mercy to us in our days, He invites us to extend that to others. It’s through His Holy Spirit, His grace within us, that we can extend that Mercy. 

We also have to know that we’re not going live it perfectly, but being prayerful and self-reflecting we can recognize those moments when I probably wasn’t as charitable to that person as I should have been. And I need to ask, “How do I, by His grace, do better the next time?” And in those moments having the humility to go to someone – and sometimes it’s also here within our own family – we have to have the humility to go to each other and say, “I messed up” and to hear, “We forgive you.” That’s something we have tried with Kristy to lead these boys into. When they mess up and hurt each other, we have to ask each other for forgiveness. And then just as God forgives us and His Mercy is infinite, the same applies to our relationships. 

You often mention the redemptive suffering. I am very interested what it means for you and how do you understand it? 

Kristy: I think the connecting of our suffering to Jesus’ suffering on the cross brings meaning to our suffering  – we get to take part in being on the cross with Him. There are a lot of graces that we get from Him, obviously, but when we can look to the cross, when we’re carrying something hard, we can be a part of building the kingdom of heaven with Him. That’s how I understand it. And when I learned about that, I felt like we have a purpose here. He wants communion with us. He wants us to join Him. And the suffering is the reality, obviously we have no option. God allowed this for us. And it brings meaning, because He made it not in vain, that was not for nothing. That there is a greater purpose, which we cannot see right now, but that we’re going to see it. And if we have that faith, we’re going to see it when we meet the Lord.

I really liked one thought in one of your interviews, David, where you said that we always ask God, ‘Why did this happen to us?’ But we do not ask what is God actually doing, or how he is going to use that situation? 

David: The redemptive suffering is a form of prayer. When you’re suffering, that is when you’re closest to Christ, because that is what He did for us on the cross. In those moments when we have no idea why things are the way they are and things we cannot change that we cannot do anything about, that takes a lot of trust. And this is where it is God’s grace working within us when we, in prayer, ask to trust Him more so that we will be able to keep going as best as we can in these hardships. But also knowing that He is going to use that prayer in ways that probably here on earth we’ll never see. For example, the people in purgatory and people that are going through hard things across the world that we don’t even know about need our prayers. Our offering can be what helps them. 

And it is not always easy to live that. Sometimes it is easier said than done. You get discouraged in the challenges and how overwhelming it can be. But you have to know that those are human feelings and that feelings don’t always have to accompany the faith. The faith has to just continue, and you have to persevere in the struggles. Carson, you want to add to this? You live this, what do you think?

Carson: Redemption is connected to suffering. I try to live it out in a way that your day-to-day suffering just doesn’t go in vain. Although, I admit some days it is hard, harder than others, but you must acknowledge it. And to just remember that it is not for nothing. We may not see its fruits, but we will see it someday only in heaven.

That’s really a message of hope, because very often we have no idea how to give meaning to our suffering. I think when you connect your suffering so deeply to the faith and to Christ, the hardships can even become a blessing to others. I also want to ask are there any signs of more healing than usual, or some softening of the condition? Does the situation change? Or does it remain the same?

Carson: To be honest, I don’t really remember how I was doing, for example, six years ago. But it is very common that our disease is supposed to get a lot harder with age. And I am starting to feel that, but not as aggressively as all the doctors keep telling me it is going to hit me someday or is supposed to be hitting me. So, I definitely think there are some graces there, keeping at least the majority of it at bay. But I am not entirely sure how it is going to go.

As I understand it, there’s a lot of energy involved in the constant healing, right? Because the body has to recover on a daily basis?

David: The condition is still very present, but we see the glimpses of God at work, whether it be little wounds that just clear up quickly, or if we go through different procedures and surgeries and just seeing how recovery went smoother than the last one. You just notice little glimpses that God is reminding us, I am here, I know this is hard, and this is being permitted for a greater good, but just know that my presence is always with you. I think in St. Faustina’s diary, she talks about those hardships, those times in life that we’re suffering greatly. And you feel like God is not around, His presence is so overwhelming that it actually blinds us. 

I have one last question for you. What would your advice be for a young person who wants to be more merciful and do more works of Mercy? What would you say is the best path to start this journey? 

Kristy: I think the trust is a big „yes” every day. Jesus, I trust in you. I think that was probably my first step of wanting to be more merciful like the Lord and being merciful in our home and our family, understanding that we’re all going to have hard days, and we have to be merciful towards each other. But the repeating of „Jesus, I trust in you” over and over and over again when you’re feeling challenged was for me a very good first step in trusting His Mercy, knowing that it’s there for us, and that this has purpose, meaning, and value. 

David: I’ll just go back to where I started, prayer and the sacraments and the importance of making it a priority. And as we look back many years ago, when we learned the Divine Mercy chaplet and the various novenas and the different prayers to pray together, you really have to grow in the prayer life. Sometimes we pray, for example, the novena of St. Padre Pio, we say it nightly and daily for a several times and for a few days in a row. So just from a practical level, you have to be using those prayers, the beauty of the Church that is out there. 

Carson: It all comes down to, at least for me, the need to be the one asking God, “How do you want me to emulate your Mercy?” or, “How do you want me to spread your love?” Like it all comes down to you. There’s no set guidebook. God is the one to tell you or show you how you’re supposed to act out His love and His Mercy in your everyday life.

Kristy: Yeah, that’s seeking. Seeking is important too, right?

David: Yeah, having that desire to seek is very important. Sometimes that’s the first hurdle. It’s just wanting to grow deeper and asking God to give me a deeper desire to want to know You and love You and serve You. Everything else follows afterwards.